dad

I have never
Felt like
I mattered.

But
I mattered to
You.

Because of her
The pain
The loneliness
It stings;
It burns;
My eyes water
It's acid.

Do you remember
When we
Were
Best friends?

bloated

I want to
Crawl
Out of my own
Skin
Dispose of
Every last bit of
Me
And then
Find comfort.

i remember {snippets p. i}

I remember how irritated I felt when one of my first gymnastics coaches, Francisco, would tell us to lie down and “relax” after practice. We were not free to go home until he deemed us “relaxed.” I was always the last to go. I suppose I was anxious, even back then. Go figure.

insomnia p. ii

She knows
She has a genetic predisposition to
Addiction.

Anorexia
And that one time,
When she fell in an ardent and
Toxic
Passionate
Love affair with
Vicodin
After just five short days -

For this reason
She valiantly
(Or cowardly, as it may very well be
Because nothing scares her more than
Being at the mercy
Of a little blue pill)
Quit.

But, oh dear -
How she misses
Ambien during
Sleepless nights !

untitled

She finds
Nothing
Quite as satisfying
As the hours spent writing
Poetry
Inside her head

insomnia

I can
count sheep
until the end of dawn
or sunrise;
But I'd very much rather
count
elephants

pop

{inspired by andy warhol}